Things that make my ass sweat

Parts of you that are hairy also get sweaty, so imagine my dismay in realizing that my ass cheeks seem to sweat all the time.

At the end of last year we relocated our office, and my boss got us nice new chairs. Mine is a fancy leather chair with what I assume is temperpedic foam in the seating. The problem with temperpedic foam is that it warms up and gets flatter the longer you’re on it. So by the end of the day I am setting on a hot, hard seat, and yes, my ass is sweaty.

This got to me thinking of all the other things that make my ass sweat, and here’s the list so far.

  • My leather office chair
  • Running
  • If I’m sitting on the toilet for more than five minutes
  • Sex
  • The leather seats in my car in the summer
  • Swimming (this one is hard to prove or disprove so I am erring on the side of sweat)
  • Sitting around after a run
  • Mowing

I suspect this list could grow to cover everything I do all the time, which means that my ass may always be sweaty.

Since the puprose of sweat is to cool the body, why do you think my ass needs to be cooled? Will a hot dry ass endanger my life processes? Should I start putting antiperspirant on my cheeks? Does that require a second bar of Degree or can one be used for ass and pits, assuming crack aversion? As I get older, will other parts of me start getting sweaty? I’ll keep you informed.

Advertisements