Thanksgiving for the Memories

“Pardon me, if I’m sentimental” – Elvis

I’m generally not a sentimental person in the real world, though I can be maudlin here, but there’s something about the time change and the change in the weather that draws my mind backward in the fall.

When I was a kid, after holiday meals, the men would move to the table in my Mema’s dining room and play a four-person domino game called 42. That game meant a lot to my dad. No doubt it had been a rite of passage for him when he first got to join the game. In my mind, I can see them all still at the little card table; my dad with his granddad, brother and uncle, with a couple of my dad’s cousins standing behind them waiting to join the next hand. I can hear the dominoes tapping the table, the laughter and joyful sound of the men’s voices.

A while back I had a dream that I was in Mema’s living room watching the men play 42 in the other room. Then the room was empty. Then the house was empty, and I was alone. I was sad that they’d never play 42 again, these men who are all now gone. Right before I woke, Mema’s voice told me that I should be happy that it happened, not sad that it won’t happen again.

If you’ve been to this site, you know that Thanksgiving is my high holy day. I’ve had it every way, from large family gatherings to completely alone. The last 23 years, I’ve had it with my own little family, mostly in our own home, though sometimes not. Once we even spent Thanksgiving at Disney World. This year we’ll be celebrating on a different day altogether to accommodate our growing family. If I’m being honest, that small change was, at first, upsetting. That’s more an issue of me becoming a stubborn old man than anything else. I am self-aware enough to have checked that and adjusted course. Now that we’re into November, I’m filled with thanks that we’ll all be together, regardless of the date on the calendar or day of the week.

Here’s what I’ve learned. Everything passes. You never know which Thanksgiving will be the last. Every Thanksgiving is the last in its own way, just as every one is new. For this year’s feast and for every feast I have the privilege of joining in the future, I will be thankful, regardless of the inevitable changes life will bring. And when I’m gone, I want those I love to be happy that it happened, not sad that it won’t happen again.

Move forward. Be thankful. Let’s eat.

Why is the food so big?

An argument that burgers should be smaller, patties flatter and not stacked in absurdities.

Now that the election is over, we can once again focus on the important things. We can take all the newly revived national pride and redirect that energy into making cheeseburgers normal again. No more stacking 1/3 and 1/2 pound patties with onion rings, fried jalapeno strips, too thick candy coated bacon and so much sauce that the bun turns to mush. Let’s bring back the quarter pound patty. Smash that sombitch. Add cheese and a little onion. If you’re feeling fancy, add dill pickles and a little mustard. Take pride in the perfection of simplicity.

The recipe below is credited to national treasure, George Motz. There are more at the link.

Classic Smashburger ‘All the Way’

Ingredients
3.5-ounce ball of ground chuck
Lawry’s seasoning
Martin’s Potato Roll, toasted with butter
Slice American cheese
Diced sweet onion
French’s yellow mustard
2 dill pickle chips

Directions
Take the 3.5-ounce ball of ground chuck and smash it on a hot flat-top, then sprinkle with a small amount of Lawry’s. Flip after a few minutes, then add cheese, covering it with a metal bowl or large pot lid to melt. The finished patty is then transferred to a toasted bun that has been set up with the mustard, pickle chips and onion (on the heel).

No Kings Protests?

I got an invite to join a “No Kings” protest in my neighborhood. In my neighborhood! My mind went to that Esurance commercial. “That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works.” There are already no kings in my neighborhood. The king will not be driving through. No one who knows the king will be driving through. None of the billionaires who made the king will be driving through. They are not here. They will never be here.

When they say one man can change the world, they’re not talking about one man standing in his driveway with a sign. Sadly, they’re not even talking about one man at his desk typing a blog post that four people will read.

Change is not made by a weekend march through your neighborhood or a protest at your state capitol on inauguration day. It is not made through inaction, like not shopping at Hobby Lobby or not eating Chick-fil-A. The world can only be changed through action. The scale of the impact will be directly related to the scale of the action. Need a pothole filled? That starts with petitioning the city and likely attending a few meetings. If you want to change the world, you have to get your hands dirty. You have to do the hard work. If you want your march to change the world, be prepared to be beaten, hosed and imprisoned when you reach your destination. Then stand up and do it again. John Lewis called that “good trouble.”

If the change you want is truly dramatic, may I interest you in a revolution?

You may definitely interest me in a revolution. I’m not going solo, but if the crowd is heading to the (figurative) Bastille, I’m in. If the mob is pulling billionaires from their beds in the dark of night, I will happily carry a torch and maybe even burn some stuff down. But if the crowd is just belly-aching to like-minded people in like-minded social feeds or dropping anonymous comments on news articles or holding silly signs by the stoplight at the edge of my neighborhood, have fun without me.

So, you say you want a revolution?

Haiku for AI

It’s like googly eyes

On an F5 tornado;

Funny, scary doom.

Our Long National Recurring Nightmare

Ulysses S. Grant left office on March 4, 1877, bringing to an end what was at time the most corrupt presidency in our history. Grant won the Civil War, and for that was given a pass by his contemporaries and even historians to a degree. But he knew his administration was a cesspool. In his final address to Congress, he said, “it was my fortune, or misfortune, to be called to the office of Chief Executive without any previous political training… It is not to be wondered at if a person thus situated should sometimes err in judgment… Failures have been errors of judgment, not of intent.” Fun fact about Grant: he was born Hiram Ulysses Grant, but on entering West Point decided US Grant made for better initials than HUG.

Warren G. Harding died on August 2, 1923, bringing to an end what was at time the most corrupt presidency in our history. His successor, Calvin Coolidge declared on January 27, 1924, that a special bipartisan counsel would be appointed to investigate the corruption of the administration in which he served as Vice President. He said at the time, “if there is any guilt it will be punished; if there is any civil liability it will be enforced; if there is any fraud it will be revealed; and if there are any contracts which are illegal, they will be canceled.” If you know Coolidge, you know that was a lot more words than he normally used. In fact, this quote is often attributed as simply, “let the guilty be punished,” which is way more concise and fits better with Silent Cal’s renowned brevity.

Richard Nixon resigned from office in disgrace on August 8, 1974, bringing to an end what was at time the most corrupt presidency in our history. The next day, his successor, Gerald Ford, stated, “our long national nightmare is over. Our Constitution works; our great Republic is a government of laws and not of men. Here the people rule.” That’s about the right amount of words for Ford. Even so, it’s usually quoted as simply, “our long national nightmare is over.” Fun fact about Ford: he was born Leslie Lynch King, Jr, but was renamed when his mom remarried Gerald R. Ford, Sr.

You see where this is going? That’s right, every hundred years a future president changes his name. Also, every half century we get a do-over on corruption in government, and every half century we fail. Santayana knows why. And Santa knows if you’ve been bad or good.

Grant’s public failure as President did not stop the next 20 years of leaders from trying to out-do him. Special shout out to James Garfield, who might have put the country back on course were it not for an assassin who wanted a piece of the pie. And just to say it, Garfield was followed by his Vice President, Chester Arthur, who had been one of the most corrupt men of his era but found the fortitude in office to begin the civil service reform that would bring to an end that part of the corruption. We call the period after Grant the Gilded Age. “Gilded Age” was meant as an insult. Mark Twain coined it as a way of saying that we were pretending it was a golden age, but “the golden gleam of the gilded surface hides a cheapness of the metal underneath.” Our current President loves the era so much that he is literally gilding every surface he sees. Most of us can’t name the Gilded Age Presidents because they didn’t do anything. Our country was being led by wealthy industrialists, not by elected leaders.  

Unlike the rot of the Gilded Age, after both Harding and Nixon, we had the good fortune of being led by morally upright leaders. Both Coolidge and Ford knew they were following disastrous Presidents. They both ascended from the Vice Presidency following the unexpected loss of their predecessor, and they were both humble men from “working-class” backgrounds who each followed a deeply personal moral code set in place from their childhoods. In both cases, the corruption ended with the swearing in of a new leader. Though with each of these instances, more trust has eroded in our government.

That brings us to now. We likely have another 2 years left in what is currently the most corrupt presidency in our history. Regardless of how it feels, this will end. We will be given another opportunity to begin again. I’m placing this here now as a reminder to the five people who will read it that the selection of our next leader will determine whether we go deeper into the fire or quickly rise from the ashes.

As we leave this era behind us, please know that history teaches that corrupt Presidents do not get punished except by historians. Albert Fall went to prison for a year, and Harding got a monument. Seven members of the Nixon administration went prison, and Nixon got a library. Don’t hope for retribution, pray for salvation.

Weirdly, though I disagree with all of his politics, I believe our current Vice President fits the Coolidge/Ford mold and may surprise us all if he found himself in the same position. I also fear he is so deep in the pockets of modern industrialists that he could lead us into another dark age. And while I want to trust his stories of working-class roots and a strong moral compass, the fact is that moral people don’t have to tell you they’re moral. Christians don’t have to tell you they’re Christians. “By their fruits you will know them.”

Once the midterms have ended, the candidates for President will begin to make themselves known. It will be more important than ever that all parties select leaders of strong character. This will be a time for serious people who can do the serious work of healing our wounded nation. And if they can do it silently, Cal will approve. Let the guilty be punished, the gilding removed and let our long national recurring nightmare finally come to an end.

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